On advertising

I feel there’s a whole bunch of stuff you should know. Knowledge they say is power, therefore I grant you power :

1. I don’t work in advertising
2. I spend most of my time in a small town in England called Madchester
3. Nobody calls it Madchester any more
4. I used to fit shoes for a living

The problem with fitting shoes for a living is that it involves people’s feet. In my case little people’s feet, somewhere between ankle snapper and teenage autistic mood swinging ultra loud music omniscient cool maniac.

Feet on their own are interesting things, feet attached to people less so. People have a habit of not communicating properly with their feet. Taking them for granted. Dressing them in a style more suited to their eyes. As a consequence feet protest, and when their protestations are met with abuse they grow a thick skin. How many bathrooms up and down the country have a pumice stone as catharsis for exactly this problem.

Watching your feet grow is like being a minor figure in a tragedy, hovering on the edge of great and terrible things. Watching helplessly as the acts pass and it all goes tits up. Verrucas, corns, misshapen toes and dry skin. The solution is simple, talk to them. Babies know how to do this even before they learn how to speak. Try keeping a baby’s foot out of its mouth. Its as impossible as keeping your own foot out of your own mouth, except that baby and foot enjoy it being there.

So what has any of this got to do with advertising. Nothing, I never said that it did. But if it did then it would be like Carlsberg, probably the best blog not on advertising in the world.